Thursday, September 23, 2010

Disjointed, tired thoughts.

Bleh. Can't sleep.

This long-distance relationship is taking a toll on me. It's not hard to stay true, not at all. Just hard to be so far from the one I love. I know it'll be worth it, but trudging through it is hard. Trying to keep my chin up.

Looking for a second job. Need to save up money so I can go home early. Signed a one year lease. Can't leave my roommates hanging, since they're my 3 best friends. My options are find someone to sub-lease or move home and pay rent on a place I'm not living in. Honestly, I'm willing to shell out the cash.

It's worth it. Gotta go home. Just can't be happy here. It was what I wanted, what I thought I wanted, back in May. It took leaving my hometown for me to realise that everything I need was right there, in the palm of my hand.

My love. My family. Good friends. A good job that I loved. A school where I could earn my AA cost-efficiently. A small, close-knit community nestled in the most beautiful, serene, amazing landscape; the place to build my family.

In a couple years, of course.

But anyway. Second job. Bartending, serving, hosting, stocking, I don't care. Something I can do at night, after I'm done with my crappy retail job. Something with tips, preferably. Make that extra money, come home, and be happy.

'Cause I just can't do it here.

But don't worry, baby, I am holding onto the hope you give me when I'm home.- "Soulless" by Fake Problems


  1. I feel you, I'm in a long distance relationship as well right now (we're on the opposite sides of Europe), though I'll be reunited with my girl in a week from now

  2. I feel empathy. Ill draw a picture of you someday if I ever see your face.

  3. I think I can understand, in a greater capacity, the complexities of reality.

  4. I've been in a long-distance relationship before, shit's tough man. But hey, if you live in the same country it's very possible to visit eachother, it's just a matter of how much you want it. Just don't let it consume you.

    Life as a whole can be frustrating and tough, or it can be an adventure in every aspect. It's just what you make of it.

  5. I've been in a similar situation. The grass doesn't stay greener for very long. Do what you gotta do to be happy or at least content.